Shudder & Twitch

May 22, 2008

I was staring at a Norway Maple tree while on the bus today, when that tree suddenly began to stagger like Dean Martin across the lawn where it was planted.

Then I realized,

Wait,

No,

my eye is twitching.

So, I began to rub and caress my lower, left eyelid to stop the epidermis boogie. Pause.

Did it help?

 

——————————————

I was next staring at a Bladdernut shrub, from the Staphyleaceae family. Suddenly, that shrub suddenly began to reel like Linda Blair and haze over like Mr. Magoo, while rooted in its garden estate.

Then I realized,

Wait,

No,

my eye is still twitching and now it’s watering as well.

——————————————

[Scene change]    The Brain in its cranial lair.

The Brain: Argh and Harrumph! I have struck my head while delighting myself with a game of croquet here in my braincase. The pain! Oh! The pain!

The Pain: Yes, master?

The Brain: It was a figure of speech! A chit or a chat! Be gone! What can I do to relieve my anguish?

I know,

release the Neurons! Send them somewhere close to make a disturbance. That will make me laugh and improve my mood.

Go! Fly my pretties!

[Nanoseconds later, our hero, (the lower, left eyelid) suffers the cruel punishment of the Evil Brain and his cronies, the Neurons. Can the protagonist of our tale endure? Can Adam attend Calculus class with such an irritation?

Only time will tell. Tune in next time, when hopefully Adam can see straight. ]

 

[Exit ADAM (muttering under his breath about his lower, left eyelid), but chuckling at the idea of a brain hitting its head].


Confession

May 21, 2008
Dear “Legend Desperados”,

I’m sorry that you’ve spent so much
time,
and money,silly walk
and bugspray
looking for me.

I offer my deepest apologies, for I have created quite a stir and a donnybrook of a ruckus.

You see,

I was trying to frighten my crew; just a practical joke!
 
I made the costume myself.
 
I was trying to do the silly walk, and then I couldn’t reach the zipper in the back.
 
I was trapped in a furry prison. I tried to escape with long growls loud roars.
 
The suit is now in my closet however, all tucked away.

I hope your not angry, have a nice day.

big foot